At first, Sharon was addicted to staying thin. She thought small, seemingly harmless doses of crystal meth could help her lose a few pounds. Before she knew it, she was completely addicted to the drug. Her marriage and family relationships were crumbling, but she couldn’t stop and wondered if she actually wanted to. She discovered that trusting in God was her only chance to not just escape, but to find happiness again.
Step 3 - Trust in God: Decide to turn your will and your life over to the care of God the Eternal Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.
Those who face addictions often struggle with the consequences of their choices for many years, sometimes for their whole lives. The outcomes that are portrayed in this video series do not reflect the possible range of outcomes that may be experienced by others. If you or someone you love is experiencing these challenges, or would like more information about addiction recovery, please visit addictionrecovery.lds.org.
When I was 35 years old, I just had the feeling like I'd rather be dead than fat. At 136 pounds, I thought that I was fat.
So I was dealing with this obsession, doing different things. You know, the bulimia, the diet pills. And I just would do anything not to be fat.
I got a friend who was doing crystal meth, and I asked for one little, small little Baggie. "I don't want to do it to get high. I just want to do it so that if I just take enough, it would suppress my appetite. And that's all I want--just to lose 10 pounds so I could be in my 120s again."
I became very quickly addicted, within a matter of two weeks.
Ice addicts have a term, and they call it the chase. It's every minute of your waking day, you're chasing the drug.
One night I think my husband was just kind of fed up with everything. He was going to leave me.
As the addiction progressed, I'd wake up and I'd say, "Am I going to live or am I going to die today?" So I took about 20 muscle relaxers, and I drank a whole bottle of tequila and ended up in the emergency room.
I knew I had to do something or I was going to lose literally everything. When the therapist said to me, "Any kind of recovery or any recovery program is based upon faith in a higher power or faith in God," I was very angry. I was angry with God because of all the things that had happened to me as a child and all the things that I wanted Him to fix that He didn't fix.
Back in the day, it was called discipline. So I was angry with Him. So angry. Any addict knows that there are other issues that fuel your addiction.
Then I got a phone call from a relative, and he said, "Auntie, I just wanted to let you know that the Church has an addiction recovery program." Grudgingly, I told God, "OK, I'm going to do it Your way. And if it doesn't work out, then You cannot blame me, because this is my one last shot with You."
And so as we went through the steps, that number 3 came up. And it was trust in God, turning your will over to God. "OK, so now You're telling me the same old thing. I've got to do things Your way." I couldn't see it.
The real help came one day when I read an article from the Ensign, a spiritual magazine that I said I was never going to read. And in this article, he talked about Lot's wife. Lot and his family, of course, were asked to leave the city. It was going to be destroyed.
And they were cautioned, "While you're leaving the city, don't look back." And we all know that Lot's wife looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt.
Why did this happen to her? Why was she turned into a pillar of salt just for looking back?
And he said it wasn't so much that she was looking back. It was because she looked back with longing, that she looked back yearning for the things that she had left in Sodom and Gomorrah. Her heart was still there.
When I read those words, I said, "I am Lot's wife." You know? "I'm her, looking back and longing for things that are not there--looking back for a life that if I stayed in it, I would be destroyed."
In my mind, step 3 is all about trusting God and realizing that the Creator of this universe cannot only help you recover, but He can literally provide a different life for you, a new heart for you.