Mormon Channel Blog

Deciding on Adoption: A Single Mother’s Struggle

March 26, 2015

Katie DeSantis had a difficult decision to make. Nearly full term in her pregnancy, the thought kept pressing on the single mother's mind that adoption might be the best option for her baby daughter.

For the majority of my pregnancy, I was planning on keeping my little girl. I was so excited to be a mother. I have always wanted that privilege, and the closer it got to my due date the more I questioned if this was the right thing. I couldn’t give her a mother and a father, I had no money to raise her, and I knew that she deserved the best life has to offer. Adoption was always in the back of my mind, but I pushed it away, almost in anger, because I thought women chose to place their children for adoption because they didn’t love them or they didn’t want them. That is not the case at all. I couldn’t love my little girl more if I tried. Finally, after much humility and prayer, I made the incredibly hard decision to place her for adoption.

  • Prayer was my number one outlet. Sometimes I would pray to Heavenly Father just to help me get through the next day, the next hour, the next minute. That peace would always come. The hurt didn’t go away, but I always felt His comfort.
  • I also allowed myself time out of each day to grieve. For just a small amount of the day I would cry, and I would let myself grieve. Realizing that it’s OK to cry, it’s OK to hurt is so important. Sometimes we feel this need to be strong, put on our brave faces, and move on, but sometimes that is just impossible to do. We don’t always have to be strong; that’s what our Savior is there for. His ultimate act of love through the Atonement was the best gift that was ever given. He knows us, He loves us, and He is the only one who knows exactly how we feel. He hurts for us, He rejoices with us, and through Him we are able to stay strong.

For another blog post featuring these and other thoughts by Katie DeSantis, click here