At Christmastime and always, Jesus Christ is the Light of the World for all who seek Him.
It was Christmas morning, and I was in Hollywood, and I wake up. And I'm basically throwing up from all alcohol and stuff I'd done the night before.
It just felt like a dark hole that would never end. The most difficult time is when knowing very well that I was facing some prison time, and knowing very well that there was no second chance.
It was dark because I didn't know I was, or where I was going.
I was doing things that made me feel disgusted with myself. On one occasion I felt so bad, that I was impelled to call upon God, although I hadn't prayed for about 10 years.
And I'm just praying, God, what can you help me do? Help me here. It's just me and you again.
I was humble enough to feel that there is something else. And I wanted to know, so I fell to my knees and earnestly asked.
Just asking for a sign for Him. But I think it was for me to stop and think of what I was really searching for.
And in answer to that, I had an overwhelming feeling of calm and peace come over me.
I felt this warmth coming over me, like I've never experienced in my life, ever.
Almost like a hug, just wrapped around me.
To describe it was indescribable, it felt like pure love. At that moment I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that Jesus Christ lived, and that He was the epitome of love which I'd been looking for, and could never find it.
And that's when I really started seeking Christ, because I knew He was real. I'd done everything in the world man had to offer, and none of it was real.
It was a whole lifestyle change, leaving the world to follow Christ. I feel like Christ gave me another chance.
He has brought me from a place that I thought I'd never be able to crawl out of. In the long run, I've noticed that wherever He has taken me, it's always been for a better result.
The modeling industry, I mean, sometimes they don't even want me to talk. You're a hanger, literally. There is an eternal plan here. This isn't everything, being in a magazine. I felt that I truly found Christ when I truly repented.
I haven't been in contact with my daughter for 20 years, until last year. Out of nowhere, I get a call from my daughter-- she wants her father back. That to me has been the greatest gift that He's given me back, is my daughter. It's the best gift He's given me.
I know that Christ lives. That He's the Savior of mankind. So I believe that the greatest gift that I could give to Him, is to seek and strive to follow Him.
The birth of the Savior means to me is that the world has a chance to change. The world has a chance to become what He intended it to become from the beginning. The world has a chance to accept His love, and follow Him.